THOUGHTS
There are words of disgust and doubt lingering in my mind at
all corners. Babbling as a child, I can already say how awful this world can be
to me – with this skin so dark, hair so kinky and body so stout. Nobody can
easily see the beauty in that. More so, as my coos become clear uttered words
with outstanding gusto and intellect, my physical display seems to outweigh the
inner glow. Very few are interested to travel in that bland desert to see the
oasis in me. My steps had been unsure and forced through the years.
Self-hatred grew stronger. Every time I looked at the
mirror, I wanted to escape that desert. People told me that deserts were
supposed to be very humid, they did not tell me that it was always winter there
as well. Cold and depressed I was all through my childhood. There was nothing
good I can remember. That was not who I was supposed to be. That was not me.
I traveled the hot sands and by some miracle, stumbled upon
a suitcase. It was huge but lightweight, as if empty. Without any locks, I
opened that suitcase. Lo and behold, it was, indeed, empty. Without any second
thoughts, I brought it with me throughout my journey in that desert. Walked I
went and found a rough stone. It was double the size of my hand clasped
together. Very odd to find such stone in that desert, and bewildered as I was,
I put it inside the suitcase and moved on. Again, I traveled the sand dunes,
and as I move along saw this prickly cactus. It was unusually shaped, so I dug
the sands and placed the plant inside the suitcase – souvenir I said. I found
interesting objects in my journey and one by one, I put it all in that
suitcase. The day has been uncommonly extra humid, and my sweat is beads as it
continuously exits my skin. I was extremely tired with the extra baggage I had.
I was thirsty, but I had nothing but limited water in my canteen, so I have to
be cautious. I continued my journey with a weary body, I lost consciousness and
was only awoken by some travelers wiping my face with a cold towel. They helped
me regain myself and told me they searched my baggage to identify me, but found
nothing but trash. They told me that suitcase tired me more, and since it held
no importance, I should just leave it there.
Leaving that baggage was not easy. I had to tell myself
every day that it contained no importance to my life. They were junks of other people;
they were dirt of this harsh world. One by one, I took things off of that
suitcase, until it was once again empty. Then, I left the bag itself, and I was
left with none to hold. My travel has been lighter, but still a struggle
because my water supply was dwindling.
