Lost

I have decided few weeks ago to take a breather. In my attempts to make this blog my arena for creative expression, I have been looking at other creative blogs. In the process, I have lost myself, because I became confused on which directions to take. Will I focus on arts, literature or other mundane things? I just did not know where to focus my attention at. So I stopped, and breathe.

The same time these thoughts possessed me, I have also came to a realization about a lot of things, like how I am lacking on my faith, and how disorganized I have been for such a long time. Breathe, I told myself to just breathe and FOCUS.

I knew myself, and I know I am better than this. They say, if you are lost, look where you have been and you will know where you will go. I looked back - chaos and all. I looked back, who I was and what I have been through. I knew I am better than this. I have to look beyond the dark thoughts in my head and start looking outside the box. See that there are better things ahead that awaits me.

I should ignore people's voices - their compliments and criticisms, and just do my thing. This is my life, aesthetics and my soul. I am a complicated being, lost in lines, circles and weird figures. But, that is who I am. I love the glam behind the curtains, at the backstage. I love art, literature and music, and my soul screams a thousand words in one breath. So, that is what I will do. I will scream my heart out through my pens and papers; brushes and paints; colors and images. 

I will stand my ground and find meaning to all of these while doing so. Because these things are not supposed to happen just for nothing. I am not suppose to have these chaotic brain just for nothing. Everything has a purpose after all. I just have to live life and learn to WAIT.

Doodles by Aby Shin