It Counts Most

(DISCLAIMER: This is all in my imagination. If the names, places and events reflects anyone's that is unintentional)

Have you ever wondered what your life would be if you chose a different path to take other than the one you are taking now? Well, I do.

To start, let me first give you a short biography of myself. I graduated Suma Cum Laude with Bachelors Degree in Biology from a renowned university in the country where some of the senior-founder of the biggest company of science and medicine in town work - the Silver Adam's Discovery and Manufacturing Company (SADMC). Shortly afterwards, I finished my master's degree under the most privileged scholarship, in the same college, with the highest commendation. Because of the reputation I have established at the university as a student council president, active volunteer to the city works and as a celebrated tree-huger, band-wearier and peace-promoter individual, I was offered to work a seat as the newest biologist in SADMC earning respect from senior biologists due to my latest discovery of an unknown microbe that when mixed with a chemical found in a citrus tree can prolong the dormant stage of paralysis caused by cerebral palsy, thus prolong their mobility period and may be able to prolong their chance to a better life and therapy.

I do all these while being independent in the city and finding meaning in my life with only a cat as a housemate and a friend.

I love being a biologist, honestly. All the discovery I made through the lens of my microscope makes me realize how wide and alive the world is. Through this work I am able to see first-hand a creature  so minute and undiscovered that may have probably lived longer than I did, which makes its life more meaningful and historical. 

However, this is where all the complications come in. I love what I do as a biologist, but I feel like I am being held captive within the confines of my laboratory with these microbes as my only companion and not much of a companion actually, unless they can talk. Every day of my life, I do things routinely. I wake up at six in the morning, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, go home, eat dinner and sleep at eight thirty everynight. The only thing that makes it different is when I go to the grocery store and buy stuffs I need at home plus food for Rufus. Rufus is my cat you know, the housemate?

When I am at the lab I always wear this white lab gown, googles and scrubs. My hair's tied up in a bun and wear no make-up, not even a gloss on the lips. There's no use in being attractive if you are just kept within a confined boxed room all by yourself. At free times, while I wait for a specimen to finish growing in a dish and the machines wind up all the other specimens, I would usually draw. Drawing and painting is a passion I deliberately placed at the bottom of the ladder of priorities. Why? I don't really know actually. Ever since I held my hands on crayons and paper I have learned loving art but never decided to make it a serious profession, not until now. 

I have always believed how other people say that there's no real money in professions involving art, music and theater. I was led to these disbelief. Wow! I'm a complete idiot.

Being stuck in a routine, I feel like I am stagnant, not moving and lifeless. It is like life is just made of black and white, so plain and blurry, but I know I am not this person. I ought to be different than the character I am portraying now.

I would sometimes hang out at the pantry outside the lab. It is where all free food comes from and where all the other scientists would stay at free time to talk about their new discoveries. The pantry is a breath of fresh air from all the whiteness elsewhere in the company. It is vast with soft leather sofas, modern coffee tables, slick and fine-lined counter tops and bright-colored walls. There's even an espresso machine! But who has time to use that?! But what makes it so comfortable and breath-taking is how a wide window opened it up to the world outside. 

Outside the pantry, all you can see are walls of white paint and nothing more. But here, it takes you to paradise. Beside this big building is the most gorgeous garden I have seen. There are birds freely flying, butterflies enjoying the flowers and a fountain so beautiful. Far beyond this garden are the streets where cars pass by to the rural area of the city and beyond those is a forest with very alive flora and fauna and all other life forms. Not much cars pass this way in the city because taking this round is farther, thus will consume more time and gas. Cars passing this way are far by the most relaxed and carefree. I envy the people in those cars. They have the time to do that, to use much of their life to pass these streets and maybe appreciate nature. Most of the times, I wanted to be them and enjoy life even for a moment. I love this job, but it doesn't make me happy the way I hoped it would. It only offers me money to pay rent, electricity, water, car loans, student loans, phone bills and what else ohhh... insurances. I cannot leave this job. I badly need it!

In my heart I wanted to ditch SADMC (even the name implies how sad I am here) and move on with what I really wanted in life - to become a full time artist, unmindful of the money I make. But I can't, I just can't until I find the best way to do that without ever worrying about surviving. I am so confused and I so badly want to move on, but I am stuck.

One day after work, I decided to skip a part in the routine. I did not want to go home, not just yet. Let me have a life, I deserve it, I told myself. So when the clock ticked five pm, I took off my lab coat, removed my goggles, salvaged a lip gloss and a comb in my purse and released my hair from the uptight bun I always wear. I combed my hair, got my keys and hurriedly took off from the building. I rode my car to the gallery a college friend invited me to few weeks ago after I bumped into her in the grocery. It was the latest invitation among many that came before. But I decided to come this time. In fifteen minutes, I was surrounded by the wonderful smell of turpentine and paint and by colorful, huge canvasses filled with meaningful art pieces. I thought going there was a huge mistake, it would affect a day's work tomorrow, plus, I couldn't let myself walk out of the gallery without ever being a part of it myself. I greet my friend from college when I saw her. Her name is Daffy. She was the wife of the artist, Matt.

Daffy and Matt met by mistake when my friend answered the dorm phone which call was supposedly fro my other dorm mate. My previous dorm mate and Matt were supposedly to meet up for a blind date set up by Matt's uncle reverend who by the way was the reverend in the church where Daffy goes to and so she thought the reverend set them up on purpose. Daffy and Matt enjoyed the chat on the phone, met in a date and from then on, they hit it off and got married. If that's not enough for a happy life, few years after their marriage, Matt got a big break from creating this wonderful art piece which he gave as a gift to his mentor. The mentor placed that painting in his gallery naming Matt as the future Michael Angelo. It was a wonderful painting of a woman wearing a sunhat in a floral dress while lying on the sand of a beach. She looks so happy and serene, but in her eyes you can trace a bit of sadness. The painting touched the heart of those who saw it, and when a very rich businessman saw it, he fought in buying it for few millions. He gave it as a gift to his very sick wife who struggled with a disease for a very long time whom the doctors gave an ultimatum, and so he said to his dying wife, "Honey, this girl in this painting is me. I am happy you are still here beside me, but I am also grieving and hurting that I cannot do anything with all the money that we have to heal you." The mentor gave the money to Matt. So, with the vast amount of money he got from the painting, he created more and was able to produce his own art show and many more followed after that, the latest - this one.

I always see Matt as a very talented artist. He doesn't just paint. He conveys the emotion of what he paints and translates it for others to feel and understand them. It is an understatement that he can be the future Michael Angelo, because as a matter of fact, he can be the latest addition to the many brilliant artists that history has ever created. Personally knowing him makes me proud, but honestly, I am a bit jealous. How can he be this successful and rich, and still be happy and contented with what he does for a living? (To continue...)