Tired of Being Single

Why am I still single?

I do not know why, honestly. If you say I am not pretty enough, well, there are people out there who despite their imperfections were able to find someone they share their lives with. 

Am I boring? For some, I could be, especially if my interests don't fit theirs, then definitely we will be bored with each other. 

Am I overbearing? For the least, I think I am not. In fact, when it comes to relationships and things like that, I feel like I am the most vulnerable and fragile being there is.

Am I needy? Being needy in this aspect is yearning for the other person's full attention ALL the time. I am not like that. I love freedom in a relationship, be it with my family and friends. I love their companionship, care and love. I adore them so much, but as much as possible I still keep my space for self growth.

Am I picky? I am not or I do not want to be.

Then, why am I still single?

I just wanted to be with someone who will make me feel right. Like, nothing is misplaced or missing; like I am at home. Of course we all have that one thing that we adore in a person, like that dimple on the cheek, those "chinito" eyes or that tall height. But, irregardless (of all that has been mentioned), I still believe that if the right person comes, everything else will be neglected, moreso, accepted.

Within me is the belief that at this moment God is preparing me for someone, and somewhere out there, He is also preparing someone for me. I want to stay positive on this, because I do envision having my own family to love and care for. But, I do not want to preempt God's plan for me because, time and time again, I have proven that quick and unthought-of decisions bring me no good.

Here are the things, I imagine us doing when HE comes along:

1. To spend a night lying on a grass looking at the sky beneath us while sharing stories of our childhood and some corny jokes we have managed to remember.

2. Travel to places and see old churches fascinated with historical stories behind each church.

3. Morning coffee near the beach while the sun is still rising and the whole world's sleeping.

4. Fixing dinner together, while having a nonsense conversation about life and people.

5. Good laugh with my or his family.

6. Hanging outside in mid-December while the air is cold and freezing. In our hands are cups of hot coffee and our fingers entangled.

7. A nice breezy afternoon read, with his head on my lap, where he lies napping.

8. A day of movie-marathon from the laptop with home-made popcorn and orange juice.

9. Those slightly impish moments with him.

10. Growing in faith with Him.

While none of these are happening, yet, these will just, for now, remain as daydreams.