End Call

fUN . eNTHUSIASM . eNERGY . fUN

What does fun suppose to mean?!

I have failed yet again. My middle name seems to be failure and my blog a compilation of my personal stories of failure. 

Just recently, my hopes are starting to build up. I have created this wonderful plan of working as an ESL (English as Second Language) tutor to support me while I take my second degree. There were a series of written and demonstration lessons to pass so I can be an ESL tutor. Fortunately, even though the odds were not with me at the time I was taking my written exam (Our DSL connection was dysfunctional at that time, the laptop was slowed down by the viruses in it, there were power shortages that cut the net connection as I was taking it, and the page reloaded twice in the middle of the examination) I did pass it. However, it was a different story with taking the demonstration lesson. 

I took the online demonstration lesson as an ESL tutor, but I failed. The reviewer gave me list of things I should improve on. Some of them include my tenses, pronunciation of the words "features" and "profile", vocabulary for the words "features, brave and strong", time management, enthusiasm and confidence. These are NOT a lot, aren't they? (Sarcasm intended). In fact, these words are quite simple if you think about it, but at the time I am hearing crickets around me. I did put effort to prepare for this demo lesson, created my conversational spills, practiced my intonation and pronunciation of what I considered as "difficult words" from the materials given to us and even using my sister as a dummy. But, there were certain things I did not come prepared for. I have failed to consider the nationality of the clientele of the company and their possible difficulty with pronouncing specific consonant letters like the "r" in brave and "f" in confusion. I had a nervous-break down from the slow internet connection I had at the time. The client asked me for a picture of Panagbengga festival, but I was not able to give it to him on time. In addition to, I lacked time to finalize the lesson with my client and failed to discuss with him how he faired with the lesson. It was tough and I already knew I did not do well even before the reviewer send me the Results E-mail. I sounded like a constipated person trapped in a fancy restaurant for him. I am just glad it was over.

The only problem at this point is, I am clueless with what my next step will be. My hopes are crumbling down. I am back to square one.